JRZGirl

I have been so distracted with all that is happening right now that I haven’t been true to myself or my diet. I will start fresh tomorrow no matter what pops up.

My Husband is leaving for a year in Iraq May 1st.
I start a new job Saturday.
My Son is not doing well in school.
And My 13 year old Daughter has a boyfriend.

Now you know why I have gained 5lbs in the last 2 weeks.

I feel so emotionally drained this week. I haven’t sleep but maybe a few interupted hours per night. I feel like all I want to eat is carbs. Why is it when you are upset or stressed out you crave carbs? Anyway if I have been a little missing in action as far a my Buddies are concerned I apologize. I will put my head out of my a** and get back to what should be my main focus. MY GOAL!!!!

Instead of thinking “This won’t work,” think “I can make this work!”
Instead of “It’s a waste of time,” think “It will be worth the extra effort!”
Instead of “It’s not going to make a difference,” think “I’ll never know unless I try!”
Instead of “It hasn’t worked before,” think “I’ll try again!”
Instead of “I’ve already tried that,” think “I can learn from my mistakes!”
Instead of “I don’t like that exercise” or “It sounds too difficult,” think “I’m excited to try some new things!”
Instead of “That was painful! Never again,” think “Wow, I just got through some hard work, and next time it will be easier!”
You can learn to be positive about getting fit — just practice having a more optimistic mind-set. Be your own cheerleader and boost your own confidence

I came across this old poem that I have been hanging onto forever. I was going thru some old paperwork when I found it and thought this poem might help some of my buddies with their struggles. It has always inspired me.

ALL IN THE STATE OF MIND…..

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don’t;
If you’d like to win, but you think you can’t,
It’s almost a “cinch” you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’ve lost;
For out of the world you find
Success begins with a person’s will;
It’s all in a state of mind.

For many a race is lost;
Ere even a step is run;
And many a coward fails
Ere even their work begun.

Think big, and your needs will grow;
Think small and you’ll fall behind,
Think that you can, and you will;
It’s all in a state of mind.

If you think you’re outclassed, you are;
You’ve got to think high to rise;
You’ve got to be sure of yourself
Before you can win a Prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the strongest woman or man;
But sooner or later the one who wins
Is the person who thinks , “I CAN!”

This is horrible. I have gained back 5 lbs this week. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised I have been eating alot of crap. But , I wasn’t doing bad on my calorie intake most of the days. Not Including yesterday. I just felt I had a void I needed to fill. I didn’t really know why or what I was really feeling. My body or brain, I don’t know who was in charge thought eat and you will feel better. But of course now I feel worst. I have gained back 5 of the pound that I lost.

One day I am down three poulds the next day I am up 3 pound. WHY!!!!!!!!!!!

The last two days I just can’t get myself moving. I just feel my mind won’t shut off and my body won’t start up. I guess it could have something to do with me not working wright now. When I have a reason to get up and out of the house I feel better. But, It is so hard to find a job wright know. My husband thinks I should just find a job doing anything but, I want to find a job in the career I worked so hard to get into. I went to school for a year and spent over 1o,ooo dollars to become an Esthetician. Well enough B**ching I need to get moving. Talk to you all soon!

I woke up this morning feeling pretty bad about going out last night and having a few drinks. They weren’t on the diet if you know what I mean. When I got home I calculated the calories for the three drink. It came to just over 1,000 calories. So, when I weighed myself this morning I was ready to be disappointed in the number I saw. Amazing!!! I had dropped 7lbs. I think maybe GOD knew I wouldn’t take it well if the Number was too large and was just playing with me. I am almost positive it was water weight and I was just dehydrated from drinking but we will see tomarrow.

My husband recently was talking to and ex-girlfriend and didn’t tell me I figured it out on my own by how he was acting and a little detective work of my own. When I asked him to stop he said he would but didn’t. He was talking to her for 7months before I told him to get out! so now I don’t trust him as far as i can throw him!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He says he has stopped talking to her but who knows!!! oh, yeah he also told me he was no longer sexually attracted to me because i gained too much weight one night when we had a big fight about the skinny whore.

I recently started to go to the gym with my husband again. We always went together before we had kids. After we had kids he continued to go to the gym and stay in good shape. I stayed home looking after our kid and gain 80lbs. So, needless to say my self esteem went in the toilet. Anyway the reason I am telling you this is, I was at the gym with my husband today. While we were there I did all cardio. I had a good view of the whole gym. I started watching my husband lift weights when I noticed his eye keep wandering to one certain person. It was a girl in the weight area who was working out. Yeah she was in good shape but no better than I was before kids. So I continued to watch. Everytime she walked by him his eyes followed her. He thought he was being slick but I could see what he was doing. I am just so pissed and hurt!!! Do I have the right to be or am I just being insecure. I just wanted to say to him enjoy yourself now because before you know it I will be the girl who all the guys eyes are following around the gym. Then maybe you will know how it feels to be insecure about your ability to keep my attention.